Today my uncle died, following complications resulting from brain surgery. He was a great man solely because he was a good man, and that is quite an achievement.
When he was young, in East Tennessee, he looked like Elvis at a time when that was desirable. My mother, his younger sister, told me once how she was always popular as a young girl because all the other girls wanted to have a reason to come visit the girl whose brother looked like Elvis.
He married young -- too young for his own mother's liking! A few years ago I attended my cousin's wedding, his granddaughter, and the band called for a dance only for married couples. As the song progressed, they began to name off years: one, two, five, ten, fifteen, twenty. The idea was that, as they gave the length of time you had been married, you would leave the floor. He and his wife were dancing at the very last but for one couple in their nineties.
He owned a small business in civil engineering, and by means of it raised a family. Twice at least his honest nature caused him to be defrauded by people he had elected to trust, but he stood good for all the debts they had run up in his name.
For the entire part of his life that I knew him, he was a deacon in his church. He lived according to the strict rule of Southern Baptists, which he was, not drinking nor smoking nor chasing after girls. He made one exception I can recall, allowing a keg onto his property to celebrate his son's graduation from college. He was invariably kind, and almost invariably full of a gentle good humor.
He is survived by his wife, two children, four grandchildren, and several great-grandchildren -- I am not sure of the number myself.
We will miss him.
12 comments:
You mentioned him earlier, when I was writing about my mother-in-law's fears that she might have to have brain surgery again. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. He's past the worst part now.
My thoughts and prayers, as well, Grim, for you and your family.
He sounds like he enjoyed a life well-lived (as John Donovan likes to say), and that's not a bad eulogy to have.
Take care.
My condolences and prayers, also.
Still, he was a good man who lived a good life. Grieve, certainly. But don't forget, also, to celebrate a life well-lived and that you got to play a part in that, and that that he enjoyed that, too.
Eric Hines
Sad to hear this.
He lived a good life, and left a legacy of love and a lesson for all he came in contact with- can't do much better than that.
It's unanimous. I played this at my Pop's memorial service, it seems a fitting tribute.
When I got out of college, he offered me a job. I didn't have anything like the right skills for a civil engineering firm, and I knew he'd be carrying me a long time, so I respectfully thanked him and turned it down.
A few years later, when my then-future wife and I were beginning to talk seriously about marriage, he took me aside and tried to talk me out of it. Nobody had benefited more from the institution of marriage than he and his wife, whose love and mutual support was legendary even then. But he wanted to make sure I took it seriously, that I had some idea what I was getting into.
I have pictures of him at the wedding, sitting next to my mother, who was teasing him; and another picture, just above it, of my own teasing sister sitting next to me. We have exactly the same expression.
The truth is that I'm without grief. It's a strange sort of mourning. I have no fear for him. For his wife, for my mother -- even for my sister -- but not for him. He has passed from strength to strength, from a life well-lived to a high and honest reward. Somehow I have no doubt of this, so much so that it seems silly to pray for his soul. I'll do it anyway, as a sort of duty, but I can't imagine he stands in any need of anything I could do.
Also, thank you all.
My condolences, Grim, to you and your family.
Prayers then, that his strength will be the inspiration to those who grieve that it's been to you. To leave those we love with the sentiments you have of him- I could hope for nothing more. Clearly, he lived well.
I echo the condolences.
My prayers and condolences as well.
Any man would be called blessed to leave the inheritance that you just described. He must have been a wonderful man to know.
In your uncle's honor:
The Gaithers: It is Well With My Soul
In honor of your uncles faith:
The Gaithers: End of the Beginning
Condolences. A well-lived life is great wealth.
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