What is The (Evil) Sage of Knoxville Up To on Hallow's Eve?

I have conclusive proof that he is arranging field trips for slow moving, foolish persons to WalMart. There, they blocked the candy aisles so fully, that honest Halloween bloggers such as myself could barely pass through at all. It was only his obstructionist tactics that kept me from completing this assignment by 6 CST.

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